Etiquette 101: Greeting Card Etiquette

This past weekend I was asked to assist with thank you cards and I wanted to make sure that they were all uniformed and done correctly. I provided a quick lesson on how each card should be packaged, so that we would all be on one accord. After finishing up the cards, I thought it would be a great idea to share this lesson with my Life Identified family since the holidays are quickly approaching.

You might ask, “Is there really a proper way to package a greeting card? Can’t I just put the card in the envelope any kind of way, just as long as it fits the envelope?” Absolutely not! Let me start by saying, all greeting cards must be facing the opening or the flap on the envelope. When the envelope is opened by the recipient, the first thing they should see is the beautiful card’s design. The fold of the card should be placed at the bottom of the envelope so that the card is not cut in half if the recipient were to use an envelope cutter to open their package. In some cases, I will place the card in the envelope with the fold at the top of the envelope if the card has been designed as landscape versus portrait. That’s because I prefer the card to be right side up when removed from the envelope.

If you are sending a blank greeting card, such as a thank you card, you will want to handwrite the card for that personalized touch. It is much more endearing to send a card with perfectly tailored words for each recipient. The relationship with each recipient is different; therefore, each note should appropriately address the reader. Be sure to write on the outside of the envelope or use adhesive labels.

If you are sending a greeting card, such as a birthday or congratulatory card, it is proper to place the card with the fold on the bottom. I have always been told to make sure that you do not send an empty card to anyone. You can thank the matriarch of my family for this etiquette tip. My grandmother does not play about empty cards! The only exceptions to this rule is if you are simply sending a seasonal greeting card (e.g. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, simple hello, announcement). Another exception is if you plan to see that person for the holiday and physically give them their gift or if you have placed other contents (i.e. gifts) in the box, then there would be no need to place a monetary gift in the envelope, unless you choose to do so. The biggest lesson about cards is making sure it is packaged correctly, so that the recipient can see the design of the card upon opening the envelope. Lastly, don’t forget to sign your name! If you have any questions, feel free to email me at lifeidentified@gmail.com.

Fashioned in Confidence,

Nolie B.

Fashioned in Confidence: Business Casual Style

Happy Monday! Today is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! Start your day by declaring great things! I was listening to one of my favorite songs by Jesus Culture this morning, “Prophesy Your Promise,” and I was reminded that we are the ones who set the atmosphere. So, today, shift your atmosphere with your mindset and your mouth. Be an atmosphere shifter at work, in your meeting, during lunch, and even when you return home!

As we start a new week of work, I thought it would be fun to share some office style inspiration. So, I’m coming to you today with another outfit request from one of my followers. This time it’s business casual, but not boring business casual from the 90s. It’s polka dots and lace-up sandals! As I mentioned previously, I enjoy transitional pieces, pieces that can go from season to season only by adding a layer or two. I took a sleeveless shirt dress that can be worn in the summer and topped it with a jean jacket. Many offices don’t allow sleeveless pieces and the buildings are freezing, so a blazer or jacket of some sort is necessary. I like jean jackets because they’re not too stuffy and give outfits a fun casual look. I paired the dress and jacket with one of my favorite bags I snagged at TJ Maxx, a roomy Italian crossbody that houses all of my essentials- don’t forget your mask! Unfortunately, I had to return the bag a few days ago because of a malfunction, but I am actively looking for something very similar. The bag was great quality leather with plenty of space and the crossbody strap made it so convenient! Now, you know I live for fun accessories, so I kept the arm candy fun with a combination of Alex & Ani and Erimish bracelets. I hope this outfit helps you effectively shop in your own closet this week as you work from home or from the office. Remember, just have fun!

“Wear” is it?

Dress: Old from WhoWhatWear by way of Uptown Cheapskate in Augusta, GA (Similar here) (Similar here) (Similar here)

Jean Jacket: Lucky Brand by way of TJ Maxx (Similar here)

Sandals: Old from Cato (Similar here)

Bag: Lia Numa by way of TJ Maxx (Similar here)

Fashioned in Confidence Date Night Look

Friday has finally arrived! Back in July, my Fashioned in Confidence Friday feature, Diedre Anthony, reminded us that sometimes a little makeup and a cute outfit can be the perfect pick-me-up for quarantine blues. Most of us are spending more time at home due to reduced office hours, so we find ourselves in yoga pants, t-shirts, and a bonnet or messy bun. After Diedre shared how much putting on makeup helped boost her mood, I took to IG stories and asked you what type of outfits you would like to see. So, today we’re starting off with a date night look. After all, Friday night is loading and you need to be ready!

This is a transitional outfit from summer to fall. In some areas the temps are beginning to drop, so it’s a good idea to top that summer romper with a lightweight blazer for added warmth. I kept it simple with tassel earrings, a watch, and stacked bracelets. This can be the perfect date night outfit for you and your beau even if you choose to have fun at home. The purpose is to get dolled up, put your makeup on, your favorite perfume, and feel good about yourself! Most importantly, let the inner work you’ve done permeate and shine on the outside!

“Wear” is it?

Earrings: Amazon

Blazer: Just Fab by way of Clothes Mentor (Similar Here)

Romper: Extremely old from JCPenney (Similar Here)

Heels: Steve Madden

Clutch: Tory Burch (Similar Here)

Humility in Prayer: The Benefits of Aligning Your Prayers with God's Perfect Will

As women of faith, we are taught to pray consistently, which is biblical, by the way; however, we are not always taught that sometimes we will have to change our prayers/requests.  What do I mean by change our prayers and is that even biblical?  Let me help jog your memory a little bit.  Can you think back to a time when you wanted or needed God to come through in a specific way for you or your family?  Do you remember praying things like, “God, I am asking that you will bless me with a job.  God, please get me and my family out of this horrible situation.  God, provide for my family in this area of life.”  Those may not be the exact prayers you prayed, as I’m sure your prayers are much more eloquent and detailed, but you get the point. We typically go to our Heavenly Father in prayer and state our desires/needs over and over again, but fail to pause and see if there is something else that we should be praying instead of rehearsing our need every time we speak to Him.  In the last two years, God has shown me something that has forever changed my prayer life and my time with Him and I want to share it with you in hopes that it will be helpful for you, as well. If you are reading this post and you are not a believer of Christ, I’m pretty sure you can still relate to hoping for a certain outcome and refusing to shift your perspective to see the situation differently and how another perspective could potentially bring about an even better outcome than the one you were hoping for. Hopefully, this post will challenge you to slow down and consider other options and perspectives in the midst of decision making.

A couple of years ago, I was going through something and asked the Lord to really come through in a specific way.  I cried out to God like never before and asked him to turn that situation around.  I declared and decreed and waited for God to show up.  I was a total mess for several days concerning this thing.  Then one day, on my way to work, God dried up my tears and downloaded instruction concerning the prayers I was praying.  He told me that I no longer needed to pray for that person to have what I was hoping for, but I needed to pray for that person to undergo total transformation.  I needed to pray that their experience would be life changing and memorable.  I needed to pray for His glory to be made manifest in that situation.  He reminded me that His glory can’t come when we do things in our own strength, but that glory comes when he supernaturally handles difficult situations.  It was one of the first times that the Lord gave me a specific word and peace during such a difficult time.  He even gave me a specific time frame that this thing would come to pass.  It was tough accepting the word he gave me, but I knew it was for the best and I had no doubt in my mind that it would come to pass.  That experience really demonstrated for me how much God truly loves us and how much he cares about our souls.  The experience strengthened my patience and helped me to trust in God.  It was difficult to have confidence in the time frame because I didn’t know if I was telling myself that particular date to bring comfort or if I was just making up something in my head.  God gave me peace about it by reassuring me that I had heard from him, and it came to pass just as He had shown me.

Fast forward two years later, I found myself praying and asking God to show me what I needed to do in another situation.  I was saying, “God if this is not it, please show me.  Make things clear for me.  Remove it if I’m not supposed to be a part of it.”  I went on and on to the point of frustration.  Until one day, when I was on the way to work (clearly, my car is my sanctuary, haha, this is the second word from God on the way to work), God said to me, Nolie, you already know the answer to this.  You already know you’re not supposed to be involved in this situation, which is why there is no answer to that particular prayer.  I need you to ask me for courage to leave this situation behind.  After that heart-to-heart with God, I began to pray for courage to do what I knew I needed to do all along.  I think it may have been a total of two weeks before I spoke up and walked away from the situation. 

I hope you are seeing the pattern from these two examples.  When we notice that we are not hearing from God or getting any relief in a certain area, ask God if you are praying what you should be praying.  Romans 8:26 says, “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.”  There are a few different interpretations that can be drawn from this verse, but for the sake of this post, I really want to point out the fact that the scripture states “we don’t know what God wants us to pray for.”  Many times we come to God with our own agendas and forget to humble ourselves in prayer to hear what his agenda is for our lives and circumstances.  He will show us exactly what to pray and in some cases show us exactly what we’re overlooking that serve as the answer to the question we’ve been asking.  For instance, I kept asking God to show me what I needed to do about my situation and then had the nerve to be mad because “He wasn’t showing me.”  When, He actually had already given me clarity, but I was afraid to act on what I knew.  Therefore, my prayer had to change from “what should I do” to “give me courage.”  I challenge you to ask yourself right here, what prayers do you need to change?  What answers has God already provided, but you are afraid to be obedient to the instruction He provided?

Some may refer to this as getting in alignment with God or a perspective shift, but I refer to it as prayer shifting or humbling myself in prayer.  I am reminded of the scripture 2 Chronicles 7:14 that says, “and My people, who are called by My Name, humble themselves, and pray and seek (crave, require as a necessity) My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear [them] from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land.”  This scripture is preceded by verse 13 where God says that if he sends locusts and plagues out into the earth, it’s his people that are called by his name (verse 14) that He will respond to and heal their land.  However, one of the mandates that he outlines in this passage is humility.  He reminds us that we must humble ourselves in prayer, turn from our wicked ways, and then he will hear us.  As I stated earlier, it is important to come before God with a humble heart and allow the Holy Spirit to guide our prayers and not just rattling off a laundry list of things we need from Him. 

Before I close, I want to share some of the benefits of shifting your prayers. 

1.       You may decrease the likelihood of feeling frustrated about the thing(s) you have been asking for and have not received.

2.       Your motives become pure (not out of selfish ambition- James 4:3); most likely your requests are in alignment with God’s desires for you and He honors your prayers because of this.

3.       Practicing acceptance and humility will be for your good and you will find it pushes you closer to the person that God needs you to be for others in this world.

4.       Indescribable peace becomes your possession, regardless of what’s going on around you. 

So, go before the Lord today and share your heart, but leave enough room for him to share His perfect will for you, your family, and your circumstances.  Happy Prayer Shifting!

P.S. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to send me a message and we can discuss your questions and go a little deeper.  If you aren’t familiar with God and this whole Christian verbiage, please email me, I am happy to help you in any way I can. 

Email: lifeidentified@gmail.com

You are forever fashioned in confidence,

Nolie

Fashioned in Confidence Featuring Diedre Anthony

It’s been a while, but I’m back again with my Fashioned in Confidence Friday and this time I’m featuring a fellow counselor bae, mom of three, wife of a farmer, and lifestyle blogger, Diedre Anthony. I reached out to Diedre because her social media presence exudes confidence! She does so much and I’m not quite sure how she manages to do it all and still share helpful content for mommies and more specifically, mommies of multiracial children. I asked her to talk a little about what life has been like since the quarantine and what has helped her continue to feel confident in herself as she fulfills multiple roles. After all, her gorgeous girls are watching her every move and I believe she is setting a great example of how one should carry themselves with a full plate. Check out what she had to say!

The pandemic has made me realize the things that are truly important. As a woman in today's society, we are inundated with images of beauty. We are marketed to every time we turn on the t.v. or log into a social media app. It's easy to get swept up into always wanting more.  I've been guilty of always wanting more even though my closet was full. This mandated stay-at-home time has made me realize that having a closet full of clothes means nothing if your basic needs aren't met---emotional and physical. It's been a great time of renewal for me and my family. 

It's also easy to feel down when I'm not able to get out and be social (needs for this full-on extrovert). Sometimes getting dressed, putting on a little blush, and lip gloss makes me feel like myself again, even if I'm just going to pick up a few gallons of milk for my kids.  

Confidence to me means that it transcends your situation. Confidence shouldn't rely on your job, abilities, or the state of the economy. It's being sure of who you are from the inside out. Confidence means not being afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

You can visit Diedre’s blog, “Are Those Your Kids” at www.arethoseyourkids.com

Choices: They can unlock greatness or keep you bound...what will you choose?

It is so ironic that the topic for this blog post is about how choices and decision-making can impact our lives, as it has only taken me a year and a half to finally complete this post.  Let’s just say that this post has not always been at the top of my to-do list.  I have been chipping away at this piece for a while now.  There were some days that I was intentional about sitting down to finish the post, other days where I would have to force myself to put something down on paper, and many days where I set a deadline only to procrastinate and still leave the post incomplete.  Well, I’m happy to say that it is finally finished on my 34th birthday and I’m excited about sharing some of my life lessons with you all.

Let’s dive in…

Everyday when we wake up we are faced with choices that have to be made. Some are made on the fly, others premeditated.  Should we eat breakfast or do we have enough time to just grab a banana and run out of the door? Have an hour long quiet time session with God or just pray in the car?  Will I fix my attitude since I “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” or will I remain in my funk?  Will I allow my past to dictate my future or will I do something about my future by changing my perspective and habits?  I can go on and on about the choices we’re faced with daily, but the point is, our daily decisions impact our experiences, our quality of life, and the direction of our lives.

Over a year ago, the topic of choices and decision-making came about as I discussed various concerns with my friends and observed different things occurring in my life.  I noticed that many of the discussions I was having with both my friends and clients were surrounded around the fact that at some point we must make decisions about what we want in life.  For instance, I asked one of my friends how she became so confident in herself.  She and I were college roommates in undergrad and she is now a Neonatologist (pediatrician who specializes in the care of premature and ill babies), so confidence was necessary for her to get to this level in her career.  It was equally important for her to understand her identity and she had to commit to a lifestyle of perseverance and refuse the idea of settling.  My question to her derived from a discussion we had a year prior about relational boundaries and how we understand our worth and what we bring to the table in comparison to how we viewed ourselves in the past.  Her answer was, “One day I thought about who I want to be and how I want to feel and I decided that I would make choices that align with that.” She’s absolutely correct! It is extremely important to take time to sit still, seek God, and visualize your future self.  When we do this, God downloads visions into our subconscious.  It is difficult and altogether unwise to make decisions that do not align with what we see in our dreams and visions.  However, when we take time to sit still and dream, we ultimately, make better decisions that gradually get us closer to the goal(s) that we set for ourselves, and the path that was predestined for us.  Stephen Covey, author of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” echoed a similar principle in his book.  He stated that we should “keep the end goal in mind.”  In other words, Covey was saying that if we get a picture in our minds of what we want to accomplish, we are more likely to establish habits and make choices that land us right where we desire.  I don’t want to prolong this post with too many stories and details, so I’ve compiled a list of things that will be helpful as you make choices about your life.  My hope is that we will all truly live our best life and that we get what we want out of life, but I realize that getting what we want comes by way of making positive choices along the way.

1.       Seek God about the plans He has for you.  This is number one for a reason.  For the believer in Jesus Christ, this is a lifestyle for us, as we journey through life on earth. We must consult with the One who created us.  Consulting with Him about what he has in store for you eliminates the guessing game we play sometimes. Seeking Him gives us insight and clarity about how to set our goals and what action steps we need to take. Since the beginning of time, He had a purpose in mind concerning you and it is in your best interest to seek Him about what you are to accomplish and do while here on earth.

Matthew 6:33

Proverbs 3:5-6

Proverbs 16:25

Psalm 37:5

Luke 17:33

2.       Take time to dream and visualize yourself in the future.  It is becoming one of my favorite hobbies and most necessary tasks as a believer to take time to sit and dream.  I close my eyes and ask the Lord to show me my future and what He desires for me.  I have recently told him that I want to start with a blank white canvas.  I surrendered everything over to him (i.e. my thoughts, plans, dreams, and personal agenda) and told him to show me what my life is supposed to look like; this takes humility (Luke 17:33).  I ask him who am I supposed to connect with, where is my mission field, how am I supposed to use my influence and gifts, etc.  I am having so much fun with it.  Don’t be afraid of what He shows you because He has promised to help us carry out everything He has purposed us to do, we don’t have to do it alone. 

Job 33:14-15

Jeremiah 1:5-8

Jeremiah 29:11

1 Corinthians 2:11, 16

Habakkuk 2:2

3.       Examine your attitude(s) and consider what you want to hold onto and what needs to be thrown out.  Don’t press the default button.  Meaning, do not go back to what’s familiar; the same old behaviors, attitudes, and narrative that you’re used to.  This may include redefining your interests, new responses, and new coping skills.  If there’s a need to change, then make the change.  How will you know there’s a need to change?  If the behaviors and/or thought patterns interfere with what you are trying to accomplish and if you find yourself unsettled and in positions that are opposite of the will of God.  In other words, no peace, no fulfillment, and too much striving on your end. It is not good enough to be aware of what changes need to be made, but yet, ignore them and continue on the same path.  Doing what you’ve always done will yield the same results you’ve always gotten.  Challenge yourself to do something different so that you can receive different results (e.g. better relationships, peace, joy, or deliverance from old habits). I’ve learned that the quickest way to advance is to obey God’s commands about my character in my current season. He typically does not allow us to go on to level 2 blessings if we’re struggling with level one issues.  Sis, it’s time to level up! Pass those tests that you’re faced with so that you can move up to where you really want to go.  Be prepared to seize the opportunities that are coming your way. People are waiting on you to level up!

James 1:3-4

4.       Ask yourself, “What do I want for myself?”  Many people say that they want peace, happiness, joy, and freedom; yet, they make decisions daily that keep them bound and in a place of torment and despair.  We have to choose to be happy, we have to pursue peace and true peace leads to freedom.  A few years ago I worked a job that I absolutely hated.  I was in this position for five years, but during this time God taught me a serious lesson about choosing happiness over discontentment.  For about a year straight, I went to that job in tears, complaining, and constantly filling out applications all over the U.S.  Until one day, God whispered, “you don’t have to be unhappy here, you choose to be unhappy.”  I didn’t realize that I was waking up every single day choosing to live my life that way.  Just as we choose to be happy, we also choose sadness.  We don’t have to submit ourselves to prolonged feelings of sadness or any prolonged feeling that creates discomfort and unhealthy mental health.  I decided to look into other options and made a decision to return to school. Then, I quickly learned that school presented some of the same dilemmas.  The principle God wanted me to understand was that my circumstances, environment, and other people cannot and should never determine my emotions.  I have to make a conscious decision about what I want, how I want to live my life, and adjust accordingly.  The choice is ours, we hold the power.

Philippians 4:4, 6-8

Philippians 4:11-13

James 1:5-8

James 1:21

2 Timothy 1:7

As I celebrate my 34th birthday, I am reflecting on the things I have accomplished, the unfulfilled goals that remain on my list, my current habits, my character, my faith, my relationship with God, the status of my friendships and familial relationships, my challenges, my career, and the choices that await me.  The last few years of my life have been good, but GREAT awaits!  34 will be the year of true freedom- freedom from the standard of perfection. It will be the year where I walk gracefully, boldly and confidently in my own skin without need for validation from anyone.  God has shown me God-sized dreams that require mustard seed faith and unwavering belief in His power that’s inside of me.  He has shown me what I am capable of…so, say no more, I don’t need anyone’s permission to do what He has called me to do.  I am approved, I am equipped, I am enough, and I am coming for everything He desires for me to have!  Say it with me, “I am approved, I am equipped, I am enough, I make wise choices, and I am coming for everything God desires for me to have!” We got this! Let’s do it!

Fashioned in Confidence…Designed by God,

Nolie

“Wear” is it?

Two piece skirt set: Page XVII (17) by Jasmyne S.

Earrings: Blossom and Autumn

Blazer Dress: Zara by way of TJ Maxx

Heels: Steve Madden Animal Print Lace-Up

Earrings: Tassels from Amazon

Fashioned in Confidence Friday Featuring Jamie Campbell

This month’s Fashioned in Confidence feature is none other than my sister-cousin, Jamie Campbell! Jamie and I are cousins, but growing up we were constantly questioned about whether or not we were actually twin sisters, lol!  We have been connected at the hip since middle school and youth choir days in church.  Jamie is someone that has always embodied confidence in every area of her life.  She excels in the field of education and holds a specialist degree in educational leadership.  She has such a gift to teach; therefore, her teaching gift is not limited to the confines of the classroom.  Jamie, currently teaches a small group with her husband, Gerald, in California.  Jamie is also the mother to my absolute favorite toddler, my dear Godson, Trey.  In the midst of social distancing, take some time to read about how Jamie remains fashioned in confidence as a woman of God, wife, mom, and teacher.

When I think of the word "confidence," I'm instantly reminded of a familiar Bible character by the name of Abraham. You see, Abraham had developed such a level of trust in God that he had no hesitation in killing his son, Isaac. He was confident that God would either bring his son back to life or figure out another plan to ensure that all would be well. As this passage of Scripture illustrates, confidence is an inner belief that you are who God says you are regardless of the circumstance.

I believe that my parents worked hard in instilling a high level of confidence in me from an early age. They would tell me that I was pretty, smart, and could do anything I set my mind to. They were basically filling my head with Scripture which says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It also says that I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength that I need.  I'd like to think that my mother and father gave me a God-confidence. This is imperative, as the way that I feel about myself could easily change from day to day. However, what God says about me is a dependable, always-on-time reminder of who and whose I am. Because of my God-confidence, I can walk in any room with my head held high because greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world. 

So ladies, how do you build and maintain your confidence? The answer is simple. First, you choose to make Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior. Then, you immerse yourself in his Word and surround yourself with other believers who will remind you of your greatness when the going gets tough. Yes, this is the meaning of confidence. Leaning, depending, and trusting in all of God's promises for his children. If you have little ones, I would encourage you to start pouring God's Word into them now. My son is three and I have made a habit of reminding him that he is the head and not the tail, above and never beneath, a lender and not a borrower. Can you imagine how confident he will be as he transitions from a boy to a man?  Equipping him with these truths is priceless to his success in this life. 

Truly, we are to be clothed in God's Word and his grace, adorned in his love, and forever pressing forth as a woman who is fashioned in abundant confidence. 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30

Always Fashioned in God-Confidence,

Jamie

Fashioned in Confidence Friday Featuring Lyndsey Creecy

I am so excited to introduce to you all my new feature, Fashioned in Confidence Fridays!  Fashioned in Confidence is a term I coined back in 2017 when God downloaded the vision for Life Identified.  As some of you may know, Life Identified initially started out as an image consulting company where my sessions were not only focused on physical appearance, but on one’s identity, personality, beliefs, self-worth, and self-esteem; this is still relevant today, as I believe in working on the whole person and not just the exterior.  I wanted to ensure that I created a platform where women would be able to receive guidance and affirmations regarding their identity and how to confidently carry out the work that God created them to complete, all while doing so with style and grace. Identity has become a buzzword lately, as more and more people are trying to understand who they are and the purpose for which they were created. In fact, research shows that the millennial generation values purpose and looks to incorporate purpose in their career and day-to-day activities.  The official meaning of “fashioned in confidence” can be found below.  It outlines the fact that confidence cannot come from one’s physical appearance alone, instead, the belief in one’s self and their Creator are what makes them confident. 

“Fashioned in Confidence is not merely the physical appearance of an individual, but it is an assurance, a certainty that one carries with them mentally and spiritually; which, results in bold moves, positive thinking, edifying language, purpose-filled actions, and an identity that is sure of itself. This confidence does not rely on his/her circumstances to make them feel secure, accomplished, pretty/handsome, or joyful, instead, their confidence comes from within and shines on the outside. Lastly, this confidence does not compete with others, but stands to applaud others that are attempting great things.”

I am honored to introduce to you my first Fashioned in Confidence Friday feature, Lyndsey Creecy! Lyndsey is one of my best friends who I met years ago at the University of West Georgia (UWG).  Upon graduation from UWG, Lyndsey launched a blog and television show in Kentucky called, The Elle Scoop.  She asked me to be one of her first contributing writers for the blog where I wrote under the nom de plume “The Mollie Column” and discussed concerns related to life after college.  The Elle Scoop blog was such a great outlet for me considering my struggles with being a young professional in a world of opportunities. When I decided to launch Fashioned in Confidence Fridays, it was only right that I honor her by making her the first person to ever contribute to my blog, as she has been so instrumental in my growth as a person.  Not to mention, she is the epitome of being fashioned in confidence.  She takes the world by force with her unique charismatic approach, go-getter mentality, and her weapon, the Word of God. Take notes as she shares with you how she uses her words to create the life she wants for herself and her family.

“What You Say Over Your Life Will Affect Your Confidence”

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt.” ...Wait, what?!?

Lyndsey Creecy

It amazes me every time I think about the sayings I grew up hearing and accepting. Many of them I have come to understand were never true. Regardless of the saying, words do pack a powerful punch. They may not fracture your bones, but they can definitely rupture the peace in your life. They can shatter your perspective, or skyrocket your morale; they can even crash your confidence or be the propeller that allows your confidence to soar.

Words have always been a powerful tool. Just think, the creation of the world we live in was brought to life and into existence by WORDS. We form beliefs and even make life decisions based on words written in books, magazines, newspapers etc. Words are impactful and we are influenced by the very words we hear and speak.

Perhaps the most powerful and influential words are the words we tell ourselves - The words we whisper about ourselves when we make mistakes, the words we scream when we’re not pleased with our performance or how we look, or what we say when we look around and feel like we don’t measure up.

Last year, I experienced a life changing moment. After a long morning, a few of my co-workers congregated together for an afternoon chat. It was refreshing to take a break and enjoy their company. After a couple minutes of talking, (about what I don’t know), I remember hearing one of my co-workers flippantly saying “man, I’m so stupid.” We all laughed jokingly. Suddenly, another co-worker in close proximity gently said “hey, be nice to my friend.” We all turned around confused thinking there was a misunderstanding. After a brief moment of silence, he said it again “be nice to my friend,” as he pointed back to the young man who last spoke.

In that very moment I stood speechless as I processed what took place. For a second, it took me aback. Those words hit home for me so hard. And then suddenly, a light bulb came on; a paradigm shift took place. Often times I had set such a high standard for how I wanted people to treat the loved ones around me, but I wasn’t so sure that I had set that same standard for the way I treated myself. That day, I made an effort to set a new standard going forward.

“What you say over your life will affect... your self-esteem, your confidence, the understanding of how precious you are to God and the understanding of how valuable you are to the world.”

The words we speak over our lives create a perspective that we are unable to escape. Our words are also a depiction of how we feel. If we view our lives with rose colored lenses, we’ll see our world from an optimistic perspective. However, if our view is negative, that is all we will ever see. Regardless of the situation.

We’ve all heard the old adage: “Watch your thoughts they become words, Watch your words they become actions, Watch your actions they become habits, Watch your habits they become character, Watch your character it becomes your destiny.”

Our lives (i.e.- our confidence, self-esteem, our perspective, etc.) are controlled not only by the words we speak, but the thoughts we think. Therefore, in order to change your life, you must first change your thoughts.

Negative self-talk is dangerous to your world. James 3:6 says “...the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.”

Areas in our lives may not always seem so upbeat and positive. At times, it can appear that our circumstances are the worst they may have ever been, but we have to be careful not to reinforce our circumstances with negative words and thoughts, after all, the scripture (above) says that the whole course of our lives, which means from start to end, is set on fire by the words that we utter. Therefore, we have to be vigilant in making sure that we speak life and not death over our lives.

How can I speak life without lying?!?

Often times it’s difficult to find a place to start because the circumstances can be really bad. However, we have to remember to take our focus off of our circumstances and place it on God, remembering to thank Him for what He HAS given us and for who He is. We have many things to be thankful for. Giving praise and thanksgiving forces our minds to see the good. It changes our perspective.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!” Philippians 4:4 NKJV

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:6-8 NKJV

Change your thoughts, change your words, change your world.

Lyndsey Creecy

Until next time,

Be Fashioned in Confidence!