Lifestyle Blog — Blog — Life Identified

It is so ironic that the topic for this blog post is about how choices and decision-making can impact our lives, as it has only taken me a year and a half to finally complete this post. Let’s just say that this post has not always been at the top of my to-do list. I have been chipping away at this piece for a while now. There were some days that I was intentional about sitting down to finish the post, other days where I would have to force myself to put something down on paper, and many days where I set a deadline only to procrastinate and still leave the post incomplete. Well, I’m happy to say that it is finally finished on my 34th birthday and I’m excited about sharing some of my life lessons with you all.

Let’s dive in…

Everyday when we wake up we are faced with choices that have to be made. Some are made on the fly, others premeditated. Should we eat breakfast or do we have enough time to just grab a banana and run out of the door? Have an hour long quiet time session with God or just pray in the car? Will I fix my attitude since I “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” or will I remain in my funk? Will I allow my past to dictate my future or will I do something about my future by changing my perspective and habits? I can go on and on about the choices we’re faced with daily, but the point is, our daily decisions impact our experiences, our quality of life, and the direction of our lives.

Over a year ago, the topic of choices and decision-making came about as I discussed various concerns with my friends and observed different things occurring in my life. I noticed that many of the discussions I was having with both my friends and clients were surrounded around the fact that at some point we must make decisions about what we want in life. For instance, I asked one of my friends how she became so confident in herself. She and I were college roommates in undergrad and she is now a Neonatologist (pediatrician who specializes in the care of premature and ill babies), so confidence was necessary for her to get to this level in her career. It was equally important for her to understand her identity and she had to commit to a lifestyle of perseverance and refuse the idea of settling. My question to her derived from a discussion we had a year prior about relational boundaries and how we understand our worth and what we bring to the table in comparison to how we viewed ourselves in the past. Her answer was, “One day I thought about who I want to be and how I want to feel and I decided that I would make choices that align with that.” She’s absolutely correct! It is extremely important to take time to sit still, seek God, and visualize your future self. When we do this, God downloads visions into our subconscious. It is difficult and altogether unwise to make decisions that do not align with what we see in our dreams and visions. However, when we take time to sit still and dream, we ultimately, make better decisions that gradually get us closer to the goal(s) that we set for ourselves, and the path that was predestined for us. Stephen Covey, author of “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” echoed a similar principle in his book. He stated that we should “keep the end goal in mind.” In other words, Covey was saying that if we get a picture in our minds of what we want to accomplish, we are more likely to establish habits and make choices that land us right where we desire. I don’t want to prolong this post with too many stories and details, so I’ve compiled a list of things that will be helpful as you make choices about your life. My hope is that we will all truly live our best life and that we get what we want out of life, but I realize that getting what we want comes by way of making positive choices along the way.

1. Seek God about the plans He has for you. This is number one for a reason. For the believer in Jesus Christ, this is a lifestyle for us, as we journey through life on earth. We must consult with the One who created us. Consulting with Him about what he has in store for you eliminates the guessing game we play sometimes. Seeking Him gives us insight and clarity about how to set our goals and what action steps we need to take. Since the beginning of time, He had a purpose in mind concerning you and it is in your best interest to seek Him about what you are to accomplish and do while here on earth.

2. Take time to dream and visualize yourself in the future. It is becoming one of my favorite hobbies and most necessary tasks as a believer to take time to sit and dream. I close my eyes and ask the Lord to show me my future and what He desires for me. I have recently told him that I want to start with a blank white canvas. I surrendered everything over to him (i.e. my thoughts, plans, dreams, and personal agenda) and told him to show me what my life is supposed to look like; this takes humility (Luke 17:33). I ask him who am I supposed to connect with, where is my mission field, how am I supposed to use my influence and gifts, etc. I am having so much fun with it. Don’t be afraid of what He shows you because He has promised to help us carry out everything He has purposed us to do, we don’t have to do it alone.

Job 33:14-15

Jeremiah 1:5-8

Jeremiah 29:11

1 Corinthians 2:11, 16

Habakkuk 2:2

3. Examine your attitude(s) and consider what you want to hold onto and what needs to be thrown out. Don’t press the default button. Meaning, do not go back to what’s familiar; the same old behaviors, attitudes, and narrative that you’re used to. This may include redefining your interests, new responses, and new coping skills. If there’s a need to change, then make the change. How will you know there’s a need to change? If the behaviors and/or thought patterns interfere with what you are trying to accomplish and if you find yourself unsettled and in positions that are opposite of the will of God. In other words, no peace, no fulfillment, and too much striving on your end. It is not good enough to be aware of what changes need to be made, but yet, ignore them and continue on the same path. Doing what you’ve always done will yield the same results you’ve always gotten. Challenge yourself to do something different so that you can receive different results (e.g. better relationships, peace, joy, or deliverance from old habits). I’ve learned that the quickest way to advance is to obey God’s commands about my character in my current season. He typically does not allow us to go on to level 2 blessings if we’re struggling with level one issues. Sis, it’s time to level up! Pass those tests that you’re faced with so that you can move up to where you really want to go. Be prepared to seize the opportunities that are coming your way. People are waiting on you to level up!

James 1:3-4

4. Ask yourself, “What do I want for myself?” Many people say that they want peace, happiness, joy, and freedom; yet, they make decisions daily that keep them bound and in a place of torment and despair. We have to choose to be happy, we have to pursue peace and true peace leads to freedom. A few years ago I worked a job that I absolutely hated. I was in this position for five years, but during this time God taught me a serious lesson about choosing happiness over discontentment. For about a year straight, I went to that job in tears, complaining, and constantly filling out applications all over the U.S. Until one day, God whispered, “you don’t have to be unhappy here, you choose to be unhappy.” I didn’t realize that I was waking up every single day choosing to live my life that way. Just as we choose to be happy, we also choose sadness. We don’t have to submit ourselves to prolonged feelings of sadness or any prolonged feeling that creates discomfort and unhealthy mental health. I decided to look into other options and made a decision to return to school. Then, I quickly learned that school presented some of the same dilemmas. The principle God wanted me to understand was that my circumstances, environment, and other people cannot and should never determine my emotions. I have to make a conscious decision about what I want, how I want to live my life, and adjust accordingly. The choice is ours, we hold the power.

As I celebrate my 34th birthday, I am reflecting on the things I have accomplished, the unfulfilled goals that remain on my list, my current habits, my character, my faith, my relationship with God, the status of my friendships and familial relationships, my challenges, my career, and the choices that await me. The last few years of my life have been good, but GREAT awaits! 34 will be the year of true freedom- freedom from the standard of perfection. It will be the year where I walk gracefully, boldly and confidently in my own skin without need for validation from anyone. God has shown me God-sized dreams that require mustard seed faith and unwavering belief in His power that’s inside of me. He has shown me what I am capable of…so, say no more, I don’t need anyone’s permission to do what He has called me to do. I am approved, I am equipped, I am enough, and I am coming for everything He desires for me to have! Say it with me, “I am approved, I am equipped, I am enough, I make wise choices, and I am coming for everything God desires for me to have!” We got this! Let’s do it!

Fashioned in Confidence…Designed by God,

Nolie